Recovering my Confidence

"It's just a phase," is a statement often spoken to teenagers going through psychological distress. This was the response I received when I told my Mother that I could not get over my anxieties. At the time the effect of these words were insulting, after all I had an image I wished to maintain. Therefore, the implication that my current personality was just a distinct stage in a process of change made me feel immature. Ironically, my ambition as an adolescent was to appear emotionally stable and entirely capable. Even so, this was far from the truth, my Mothers statement did not resonate with me until much later.

Now I have began to appreciate a deeper meaning behind those words because they stand for a period of time that will pass. If I had understood this theory earlier it could have been a consoling perspective; but lets be honest teenagers are not the easiest people to convince of anything. Finally, I can look back on the distress that I had as a teenager and realize that it had been a phase in that the anxiety, now only a dull ache, was once cultivated by hormonal imbalances of puberty.

However, I am aware that this is a story that may apply solely to myself and perhaps only a hand full of others. For many a chemical imbalance in the brain is a very real problem, and can extend the suffering of individuals beyond their younger years. I am no expert but those of you, I urge to take care of your mind and your body by recognizing these emotional imbalances and seeking out any help you so desire. For many it does not get better, but you can get better at managing it, and that is a commendable battle.

Tips to Get Through It

What helped me was to think about all of the moments I had anxiety and the outcomes. 99% of the time, when I thought something would go wrong, there was a positive outcome. This is very common for people, we are constantly in fear of a situation going wrong, when in reality it is more likely to go right. It is better to expect good, than be in constant fear of the bad. And if it does prove to be against our favour then we must trust ourselves to be able to manage the situation once we are facing the problem.

Anxiety can build from the fear of the unexpected. What happens when we take time to understand all of the possible unfortunate outcomes? Sometimes we realize that the absolute worst actually is not that bad, or perhaps we can find a solution earlier than expected.

When all else fails there is a mindset that can push you through many hard times: Fake it until you make it! Yes its cliche but how else would it become a popular saying unless it worked. Did you know that just the physical act of smiling releases enzymes into your body that actually make you feel happier. When you are faking your happiness, confidence or satisfaction, and you do it often enough and for an extended period of time, eventually you can even convince yourself it is the truth.

-Alexis Halloran, The Nyctophilia Diaries

How To Beat a Panic Attack (AWARE Steps)

"Acknowledge and Accept- Here I acknowledge the present reality, that I'm afraid and starting to panic.I'm acknowledging simply that I am afraid, not that I am in danger. The thought that I am in danger is just another symptom of panic, not an important or useful thought. Here I accept the fact that I'm afraid at this moment. Overcoming panic attacks begins with working with, not against, my panic and anxiety symptoms.

Wait and Watch- Jumping into action too quickly is a big obstacle to overcoming panic attacks. So, even though you have a powerful urge to leave, postpone that decision for a little bit. Don't tell yourself you CAN'T leave - keep that option open so you don't feel trapped - but put off the decision about whether or not to leave. Stay in the situation. You don't need to run away to get relief. Let relief come to you. [People] often report that just filling out a diary helps them to calm down. How does this work? It's not that they're distracted from the subject of panic, because the diary questions are all about panic. It helps you get a little distance from your emotions. It works because, while you complete a diary, you're in the role of an observer, rather than feeling like a victim.

Actions- Many people think they know how to do deep breathing, but don't do it correctly, so they don't get good results. A good belly breathing technique is a very powerful tool in the work of overcoming panic attacks! Talk to yourself (silently!) about what is happening, and what you need to do. One question my patients find very helpful is this: is it Danger or Discomfort?

Some of the other responses [people] like include the following:

1. Fine, let's have an attack! It's a good chance to practice my coping techniques.

2. Answer your "what if...?" fears by saying "So what? I'll get afraid, then calm down again."

3. It's okay to be afraid.

Get back into the activity you were engaged in prior to the attack, and become involved with the people and objects around you. It will move you closer to your goal of overcoming panic attacks when you bring your focus and energy back to the present environment. By this I mean, work with what is around you.

Repeat- This step is here because you might start feeling better, then feel another wave of panic. Your first reaction might then be to think "Oh No, it didn't work!". The Repeat step is here to remind you that it's OK if that happens. Just take it from the top again. It's not unusual or dangerous. You may go through several cycles, and you just need to repeat the AWARE steps again, as often as you need.

End- This is here to remind you that your panic attack will end; that all panic attacks end; that they end regardless of how you respond; that it's not your job to make the attack end; and that your only job is to make yourself as comfortable as possible while waiting for the attack to end."

Anxietycoach.com. (2018). Overcoming Panic Attacks: A Five Step Response. [online] Available at: http://www.anxietycoach.com/overcoming-panic-attacks.html --Used only for AWARE steps.